My intent in this post is not to virtue signal victimization... its to demonstrate how bad things can get and what you should watch out for. I have more posts in the wait around a lot of the details written here that drill down into the various things touched upon.
Anon: To my boys:
- im sorry your mother calls the police to instill fear and you and break us apart; this is sick behavior and i know must be so embarrassing for you. She, her boyfriend and her lawyers are using fear based control to hurt our family and drive separation.
- im sorry your mother is distancing us purposely by systematically breaking down our methods of communication and wants to destroy our relationship.
- be happy that i am able to help other dads and spouses of narcistic abuse victims by getting through this fight im constantly burdened with. Our experiences together as rough as they have been are helping others. I find helping others to find power in themselves to help children and families to stand up to the evil behaviour of people that just want to inflict pain.
- im a fighter and you guys are all that matters to me... this was a promise i made to myself even before your mom cheated in front of us. im sorry for all that you are going through.
- ive asked the police to leave us alone and ive enlightened them with the manipulation they are being subjected to. ive warned them to stay away from us as it is having a deep affect on your ability to feel safe with me which is all i want to be able to provide as i restart my life again due to circumstances that only an evil person can pursue on their spouse.
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Anon - this content is from: https://www.divorcedad9.com/ - i came across it as i was trying to help some others. The itemized list is well thought out. I don't have any suicidal thoughts but i know what it is like to be mentally pinned down by the system as you go through divorce rape.... along with dealing with some literally evil people.
Anon - men unfortunately have to battle and go through this in silence with very little support from friends and family; the trick is to get strong and re-architect yourself fast... don't let the emotions take you out and build yourself back stronger than you were when you entered the relationship. Also dont let societal norms set your narrative... you have to rise above the noise and take charge of the situation.
1. Losing life's purpose, hope and faith
ANON: I have gone back to following my original set of morals and ethics. I got away from this as being subjected to westernized cultures in the 2000's current loss of it through marxism and feminism. Look at the 70'sand 80's as compared to now (christian based values vs consumption and sociopathic values in 2000+ - onlyfans, facebook is a product of this insanity). My faith is back, my brain, my body is coming back but it takes a lot of work and focus. No more virtue signaling, inhibition exploitation through social media, booze and pharma as our current consumption society perpetuates. Purpose currently to build strong good ethical boys... as be part of a force to undo the negative aspects of current society today.
2. Alienation and Estrangement from Children
ANON: I told my lawyers and my family this was coming when my son turned 12.. they had nothing supportive to say nor a plan to get out of it. It seems to be ok to just let kids be subject to crisis and disgusting behaviour in their critical years of imprinting. The system perpetuates this i feel to forever have a never ending supply of clients to qualify their statistics. I have offered strategies after lots of research and have already put them in place. PM me and i can tell you what those are; these are mechanisms not well documented but hold a lot of ground in the canadian family/criminal law system. There are other posts in this blog around this.
3. Financial Ruin
ANON: Crawling out of double rock bottom isn't easy - considering bankruptcy at this point - maybe. Although - I'm a fighter for the ethical causes by nature but even gentle giants need a break. 3 years of monthly attacks and alienation of my boys has been a horrible experience. I never was someone to virtue signal or was very materialistic... my ex was very grounded but she allowed the divorce rape narrative to play out due to her latest friends (swingers, drunks) and work colleagues poisoned with todays culture of "cancelling" a marriage with young children in tow.. the costco mentality of using things and returning them is how person to person relationships are being handled as well. I still have my ex's toll highway bills on my account when she was visiting the comfort inn with the previous guy (ill frame it one day with the google family beta program that has the logged maps and timing - put in place so my boys wouldn't have access to adult material on all of the screened devices which we (as a couple) both agreed on at the time); or the marital counselling bill - didn't show up (she didn't like being in front of any psychologist); the mediation meeting bill - didn't show up. She is now married to another guy that didn't read her right and are coming after me financially as a pair and are using the custody laws to do this - where we had 50/50 but she undid under false pretences.. (men dont stand a chance in Ontario even if they are good fathers). The pettiness on her lawyers behalf as an example to apply pressure is asking me for records around 50$ purchases; this is complete idiocy and nonsense. My ex and her lawyer and her current husband have to realize you cant squeeze anything from a stone - this is 3 years post divorce part 1 (yes there was already a settlement and custody hearing which was in place - 50/50 custody was in place and we were happy; my boys and i).
ANON: Our dream home in the country outside of the city in a good community - erased. I even offered to rent the home out so we can financially gain; which would be three times the price now based on the covid real-estate boom outside of the city; but because of her previous boyfriend (which wanted to take the money and run; was asking for blank cheques for blockchain investment and said he was a 33rd degree free mason [his father which he stole all his masonic jewelry], caught for drug dealing, insurance scams, enjoys hookers, continually drunk and high in front of my boys (likes getting other people high and taking advantage of them, flashed an 55 million$ bitcoin portfolio constantly my ex was enamored by - but at the same time asking for people to sign blank cheques - what a moron, likely has syphilis as he likes travelling to 3rd world countries as ive been told by locals that know him in these areas); the lawyer she had working for her referenced from the previous boyfriend - both colluding to divorce rape me (i have recordings of this - parked safely); and likely her colleagues at work that were able to use the system to perpetuate a lump sum every month and a house they stole from their previous spouses - i didn't stand a chance even though at the time i was trying to ensure that we were both financially ok outside of the divorce [even at that point i was disgusted with her and what she was doing but still cared enough to not blow everything completely up]--- but because of her rage and hate and embarrassment - she didn't want anything of it. She decided to put us into financial ruin. I have learned a lot of about narcissist traits and BPD as they normally go hand in hand.. i wish i had known this before starting a family.
4. Criminalization of a Law-Abiding Citizen
ANON: My ex and her current mate with the lawyer have an abnormally close relationship; where her lawyer is giving my boys gifts and they have become "sisters" as advertised to the public on some social media virtue signaling sites. The same lawyer (middle aged) that likes the band "Bookakee" (link embedded), dresses her daughter (very young) and her up in dog collars and devil horns, and makes it known on public profiles.. I wish i was joking. (im really not ok with these sorts of people being around my boys; but at the very least i can be a demonstration of a good non-screwed up person for 50% of the time)
This being Bookakee or bukake as its known:
- Her lawyer also lies to judges blatantly in court knowing that manipulation of feminism holds a dominant hand outside of logic and care for children; i guess anyone can become a lawyer these days and are not held to high standard of ethics. Living in Ontario the family and criminal law applications of force work hand in hand to destroy an individual and not care about the children's welfare. An example of this is that my ex was able to build a case on a dog the boys grew up with; stating the dog scratched the boys and use our courts as a method of complaint to have my boys taken from me as she relaunches a custody battle post divorce. I also have several recordings of her current boyfriend threatening pain on my family and he had lots of money to ties me up in the courts for years. (this moron is a father and should understand the relationship a father needs to have with his kids... especially since he told me that he held a gun to his own head at one time as his wife cheated on him too.. --- so in the same breath he says he will keep me tied up in the court for years, said i needed to get "laid" [this is truly the level of intellect im dealing with], which also includes weaponizing the police, lying in court and raising my boys in a trailer park known for its alcoholism weekday binges and crack use- i have seen it first hand at this very trailer park when i would go to parties before marriage.; no im not an alcoholic or crack head)
5. Losing the Entire Structure of Family Life and Home
ANON: did everything - rebuilt a home, built a business - followed along with my narcistic ex's behaviour in her need to control everything. After talking to my old friends they just let me be and didn't want to get in the middle of the relationship... i wish they had and snapped me out of it but i also accept my decisions because at the time i would do anything for her and my boys and i guess i was happy.
6. Character Assassination
ANON: trying her best using the police - lying to them constantly and omitting critical information from the family court order when speaking with the police (recordings and memoires to come around that - police behavior is appalling) ; going to my friends ive known from a young child and trying to get them to pick sides. Ive found out she has hit "reset" several times in her life and has no problem ejecting from relationships. ie. she attacked my elderly mother at my kids soccer game (my mother and aunt cared for her like a daughter they never had), when she committed adultery for the first time in the Dominican she was playing grab ass in front of my boys and i both trying to trigger me (i cant tell you the level of self control it took at that time); i wasn't going to spend time in a Dominican jail thanks - and have these psychopaths raising my boys. I also have recordings of her consulting her lawyer and her previous boyfriend in how to apply the most amount of pain and break me through character assassination.
7. Inquisition by Supervision
ANON: trying her best by launching frivolous attacks via the courts; using the police like a dirty rag - she does this to people close to her; even at her work place (illegally abusing services at her workplace). She has no morals or ethics. Reminds me of people and studies i had come across in my telemedicine career in the mental health side of telemedicine based public health services.
8. Cut Out of Your Life Portrait
ANON: erasure - asking for old photos and videos - not surrendering them to you (she destroyed them) - illegally locking me out of the house as she did a sweep for anything of meaning - or hold things as a bargaining chip; deleting all social media and virtue signaling post deletion - i found out a lot more about her post divorce than while in an 18 year relationship; there is a reason why she deletes her past. Blocking my phone and emails from your kids phones and emails (yes its sickening) - controlling all lines of communication with my boys (a narcissists traits of controlling their narrative). Even going as far as scribbling out my signature in my boys agendas and in parent/teacher approval notices for their education and care; truly sick - and to have two adults (her and her current spouse) raising children colluding together to do this is truly insane. She also has this insane habit of sending my boys over with a small token of our life together previously (every few weeks)... the realization on my behalf when she does this is "thank god" i got away from that psychopath and got my life back. This is a method of narcissist control by thinking you are still emotionally attached. Not at all.. im just attached to my boys.
9. Shock
ANON: ill get back to this in another post... but you wouldn't believe the shock the boys and i went through (ie. ex exposing my boys 9 and 6 to adult situations (sex, drunkenness, nudity), my ex attacking their grandmother...) . The recordings and my reflections on the situations will be made available to help others - they are out on the net for safe keeping. Get to know your amygdala and don't let it get triggered - much of the systems in place use the amygdala in its favor by triggering anxiety and limiting critical thought. One thing i do hope that she and her current and previous boyfriend are plagued for the rest of their life for things they did (treating other people poorly for personal gain and in pursuit of sociopathy and perverted self esteem) - including her recent friends that assisted in the execution of all of this.
ANON: the security video footage during all of this is a real shocker and probably should be destroyed as i want to my boys to have a peaceful life and likely shouldn't be made available for anyone to see.
10. The Loss of Reality
ANON: Unfortunately I'm constantly reminded of my situation; first thing in the morning and the last thing at the end of the day when i don't have contact with my boys. I have a strong grip on reality - possibly too much at times as my job requires me to hyper analyze everything and have always been this way. This trait has helped keep me from completely falling apart and applying what i learn to my personal reset for my boys. Critical thinking and building knowledge is saving me from an alternative outcome i don't wish on anyone. Also finding faith.. in whatever form you feel faith is has helped a great deal; society today keeps you from it. Having a few supportive members in the family also helps but quite honestly a lot of them scatter when things get tough... they are not what you thought they were/are - that's a dose of reality that is tough to swallow unfortunately.
11. Disgrace Kills, Not Divorce
ANON: Similar to #8 - she continually tries to control her own narrative. Ive come across others in town that have told me about fanatical stories. Those who know me what kind of person i am and i have not changed. Stand by the truth; hold your morals/ethics and don't let anyone even loved ones change that; if you have kids you need to prepare them for life as well so sticking to those core values will perpetuate.
Very similar - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmLKwLynCkM3
12. A catastrophic year or more
ANON: 3 years - i want to get on with my life (the day of the divorce she was essentially erased to me in my mind and my focus to energy had to switch to my boys); yet her lawyer, her boyfriend and her find it necessary to keep perpetuating hate and pain on my family and I - im in this perpetual barrage of nonsense and holding the "higher ground" is a difficult thing to do; especially as a male as the system counts on that you will not fight back using the same legal framework and mechanisms. The male expense to female expense is about 15:1 when it comes to divorces... even in todays equal pay equal rights society... there is a lot in this system that perpetuates the divorce rape culture.
13. Loss of love
ANON: My current position - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swRETW6kC-I ---- but i have an incredibly strong bond with my boys and she knows this... hence the alienation on her behalf. What i have written here doesn't even come close to the gravity of the situation in this regard. The methods she imposed on my little boys 6 & 9 (at the start of all this) are truly psychotic.
14. No Support
ANON: Everyone talks and panders to you. You find out pretty quick how spineless people are when you need help the most. They all talk with authority but hold no authority of their own actions even in the mean well. You have to recognize this and build a resource pool that will give you strength; forget the others as hard as that may be.
15. Negative Side Effects of Antidepressants
ANON: Get off them. Don't get hooked - this is hard in a pharma fed capitalistic society. Use them for the time you need and find other natural ways of dealing with the pressure. ie. turn that fear and anxiety into anger and start working out - ie. boxing, off-road cycling etc. Find yourself - you don't need to give into societal norms -- in a society of sociopaths the nuclear family rarely exists - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swRETW6kC-I
16. No Future
ANON: Having little kids there always is a future; and its in most of natures to make sure their future is bright.. but this reset midlife is not where i wanted to be for their sake. I followed the western program and it failed - its dream that will not exist for 60% of society. There is also an entire economic financial rape system built around the 60% - including the criminal justice system which boils male frogs slowly in a pot even though a lot of their actions are emotional because their ex is using the kids against them; but the police will capitalize on the statistic and demand more tax $ to fund their taxing jobs. ie. Its makes absolute sense when they deploy 6 police, 3 cruisers, dressed in riot gear to check if a 6 year old boy is ill... but that footage and content is for another post.
17. From Dad to’ Visitor’, ‘Him’, or No Title at All
ANON: I find this with friends and family... have given into the sociopathic way of being. Purposely being socially distanced from family just because of the label put on you - after spending a lifetime of offering assistance and help to others they cant return the favor when you need it most. This covid nonsense has driven a heightened level of division and has allowed people to rest on that crutch as well. Human psychology just blows me away and the human sociopathic condition is so disgusting now. There is also the human nature behind being a "free man" with children... where the nuclear family casts you as an outlier and women in particular coax their spouses from you being part of the picture - as it goes against their narrative in keeping control of their husbands; i really find that society has lost its way in this regard.
This is not an observation not only by me but many studies back this same behavioral outcome. Having discussed this with many other divorced dads or individuals whom don't have children or are not married... this is a thing and society is in denial about this. In fact it is much more socially acceptable to be a divorced woman than a divorced man... where couples will introduce divorced females into their group rather than divorced males. Statistics and studies dont lie and this is not just an personal interpretation.
I have silo'd my past with my ex and want her out of my life (for several years now) but unfortunately she continually pushes the narc tug o war and tries to get at my emotions and mental well being. The criminal/family law system love this scenario and there are so many leeches in this food chain as an entire unethical industry has been built around it. She has resorted to using my boys which will damage them for life if she is not careful.. unfortunately i feel that her tragic youth is formulating in her brain and perpetuating it forward on my boys.
Lastly - no im not a woman hating man... but at this time i feel a being a solo artist father is best before i let anyone into my life again.
Good resources:
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Anon - im not suicidal - this plan is very well laid out.
The author of the divorcedad9.com is canvassing America in support of saving Dad's. The divorce rape culture is so prevalent and the lawyers and spouses who gain from it are disgusting in their own right.
Strategic Plan
To stop Suicide for divorce dad
CURRENTLY I AM AT STAGE 1:
Drive across America to create awareness for divorce dad who are at high risk for suicide.
Conducting Professional meetings to create awareness for:
Local Judges
Sheriff & Police Departments
Divorce Attorney
Marriage Counselors
Congress
Senators
House of Representatives
Stage 2:
Research and Data Collection
Prevent Divorce
Prevent Suicide
Personality Test & Psychological evaluation of individuals.
Before Marriage
During Marriage
After Marriage
Stage 3:
Certification on Divorce for Couples*
Certification on Divorce for Couples planning on having children*
Certification on Divorce for couples with a minor child or with minor children*
*Educational classes for:
Couple's Communication
Couple's Communication with different ethnicity
Warning signs for Spouse
Psychology & physiology of cheating
Child psychology
Couple's Communication with Children
Stage 4: Rehabilitation Center for Suicide Prevention. Minimalistic living with spiritual growth, meditation, and building relations. One can discover their new purpose in life and hope to better serve their community.
Anon: Content from: https://www.divorcedad9.com/
Anon: Reach out to him he is an excellent man.
Woman Destroys Narcissism.
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